Lost In Beauty-

Thursday, September 6, 2007

before i start off..i wanna say..i shudn't hav come in my blog..b4 i came in i hav a bad feeling..i dunno y..but i dun care bout it..i juz click..when i read the Cbox..i know juz now..tat bad feeling..was true..well i guess my blog is meant to be a emo blog..since even my Cbox is full wit ppl tat hates me..sigh..well..i know alot of u ppls out there hate me..i duno y or who go let out my bad side make me onli gt jie yinn this fren..and i can feel tat elaine is thinking tat i'm taking away jie yinn..elaine..i'm nt..i'm juz hanging out wit her as a good fren..u hang out more than she do to me..^^..as i continue..i hope u all will know..my heart is now complete sad..ok..i know u will say..
"argh..there she goes wit her pity emo style" and stuff..but no..i'm nt trying to be emo or pity..i juz need ur patient as u read this..thx..

as wat Anonymous3 had say in my Cbox..she say i sux..her mom say i nid a attidute change..but..wat does my voice had to do wit this?!?..is my natural voice..u cant actually calling me to change it..tat far too much as i hav to say..u say i'm loud..is a good thing..nt all gurls ar loud..i wont n nvr will change my loudness(lols..)..and i know u nid me to change..y insult me?..wat did i ever insult u?..maybe a lil insult as joke last time..but..i know..tat i dun meant it deep down..i know i did insult u as.."haha..see ur pimple so big..dun eat too much la"..but i know..tat i dun see tat as ur weak point..i love my best fren.. i love her alot..but tat time when i know she hates me..i really can die..i can lose my lover..i can lose my precious stuff..but when i lose things i know i nid my best fren alot..but she was nvr there when i REALLY needed here tat 1 time..it really hurts tat i hav to go thru the whole thing including gettin over wit my break up wit my best fren..

here i wish to tell tat to jean's mom..(jean if u read this..call ur mom come read it..is for her..thx)

hie auntie..i know i've been rude n a spoilt brat in ur hse..but i didn't mean to..
i know there's 1 time i called to call jean to go out..i call the hse coz jean didn't pick up her phone..i called and u said tat jean havent wake up..seriously..my hse phone is really weird..tat i can barely hear wat u said..i went to ur hse..><"..and i remember auntie ur face completely change..i'm so sry..><..and auntie thx for ur cookies n cake tat u bake..it was nice..truely..^^
and i hope u forgiv me n my rudeness last time..

back to main thing..here i post all these is for forgivness..><"..but i know i onli hurt jean the most..sk..and ermm..who else..some i guess is minor hurt??..i duno..sry if i ever hurt any1 of u guys who will read my lame blog..><"

and..to 101sumone (can i know who are u?)..thx for the advise..as u say frens are beautiful ppl..i know..i do look at them as beautiful ppl..><"..but..i try hard..to make them look twice at me..i wan to take me as real fren..but nt as.."oh..ther she is..faster go..later she come tok wit us" or smth like tat..><"..i wan to be normal..n nt some freak..

for my whole life..this year is my worse year ever..from may till sept..nth has gone rite..there is no positive things happen to me..i feel like breaking down..but..i know u ppl will say.."see..she acting pity agn"..i really hope for positive things..i'm like any odinary gurl who wans frens more then anything else..

i'm nt writting essay now..i'm confessing..

jean..i notice..ur way of looking at me n tok to me..ar like..dislike me instead of the face of wanting me to change..i hope u really wan me as ur best fren..nt..as an enemy..

i'm going to bed..now is 6am in the morning where i can write blog wit peace..^^..maybe gt alot of spelling error..coz i'm writting under a dark room..where i cant even see my fingers.. :P

the beauty exposed ;