Lost In Beauty-

Thursday, May 31, 2007

A Poem That Reflect My Feeling Deep Within Me.

Feel the blowing leaves and reeds

Lying on our backs in that field

Felt like we were the only humans

Banished in the middle of no where

Staring at the thousands of stars

Feeling the crisp night prickle my spine

Feeling your heart beat so close to mine

And repeatedly saying the same three words

"I love you" is what you told me

Before we promised we would be together

Forever and ever, you have my heart

And I could feel your warm embrace

And now I'm here, all alone

Wondering what I've done so wrong

Watching my whole life before my eyes

And feeling the cruel world crash down on me

Can't you see what pain you've caused?

Can't you see I'm dying...

the beauty exposed ;

Monday, May 21, 2007

21st may..i was moody as usual..today..i can confirm tat wei jean DO NOT like me not more..nvm..i hav nth to say d..n..i invited him to meet me coz i was planning to ask him bout some stuff..but..he went the wrong place..=.=..is ok..then..at night..joshua msg me..we chat bout my prob..he told me to let go of my ex..i told him i wont..i really love him deeply..but..when we chat till the end..he told me tat my ex told joshua tat joshua ask my ex..whether he will giv me a 2nd chance..n my ex say.."no"..i REALLY hope tat it is a joke..n i hope is not real..i really hope tat is not true!!!!!..n so..b4 i sleep..i cried..n i'm really sad..n i blamming myself for all this break up..i nvr treated my ex right..i really regretted..but.. it is too late..he would not giv me a 2nd chance..n this night..i did not hav a goodnight sleep..i keep flip here n there..juz coz i keep thinking tat he will not giv me a 2nd chance le....i really regretted for nvr treating him rite..i really wan to correct my mistake..but..i know is impossible..

i really hope this day is not true...!!..

i'm sorry for the way i treated u..i'm sorry for the way tat i nvr care bout u when we're together..i'm really sorry..i really want u back..i wan u back..pls..giv me a 2nd chance to correct my mistake..pls..

the beauty exposed ;

Sunday, May 20, 2007

My Poem

- HeartBroken I

My soul aches,

My heart breaks.

A tear in my eye,

I'll forever cry.

I wish my pain away,

I wish it away today.

Why does it hurt so bad,

Does this make him glad?

Why does he douse my inner flame?

Was this breakup my blame?

What did I do to deserve this?

I just wish I could have one last kiss.

Why am I so heartbroken?

A depressed soul I'll always be,

Everyone will always see.

I will be strong,

Because he was wrong.

This is now the past,

It's going very fast.

Love so simple,

but hard to say,

It keeps me living another day.

I'm drowning in thoughts of how things use to be,

My chest was shut tight,

complete with purity.

It's been a bad day,

I'll try letting it not show,

Another sad day,

I'm just letting it go.

Why am I so heartbroken?

HeartBroken II

Is there a better place,

To be right now,

Than to be home,

Listening to the crickets' sounds,

Outside the windows.

Is there a better place,

To be right now,

Than in the bed,

Closing my eyes,

Falling into a deep sleep,

To forget about the days,

Forget about the nights,

Forget about you.

Heartbroken,

Nothing better than to sleep,

To forget that you are gone,

To forget your lies,

Forget the way,

You told me,

You loved me,

Forget the way,

You looked at me,

When you left me,

I want to forget,

I want to leave this world,

Close my eyes,

Fall to sleep to stop the heart,

From beating.

I block my ears,

From hearing the sounds,

Like your voice,

Like when you sing to me,

Those lovely songs,

They sounded so tender,

Now they kill me,

They hurt me,

I dont want to hear anything,

Dont want to hear the waves,

Hitting against the sand,

Dont want to hear the birds,

Chirping outside the windows.

Dont want to see my face,Dont want to see you,

Dont want anything,

That has to do with you,

I want to close,

I want to block away,

The world to stop the pain,

In my heart.

I want my heart to stop beating,

To stop bleeding,

From your words,Your lies.

-HeartBroken III

Heartbroken
beautiful pieces of the past
shattered torn broken on the floor
try to move on
but the heavy chains
hold strong chains
that were once your warm embrace
they imprison me now
to soak in my misery and loneliness
in the dark dungeon of the
lost
cold
damp
lonely
it swallows me whole
swirling in my memories of you and me
those soft lips endearing eyes sweet smile
all turning slowly to sobs glares and frowns
What was so alive
what had such warmth
is now but a cold dead corpse
rotting slowly in my mind
The love and joy i used to know
the laughs we shared
the love we made
all vaporized within one pathetic moment
and the love
that took so long to build
all destroyed burned crushed in a lightning flash,
i will always love you
even if you don't love me.
I am heartbroken

the beauty exposed ;

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Frens Were Nvr Real,
So is Love,
They Are A Bunch Of Fucking Liars & Lies,
Who Break Your Fucking heart,
and tell you they still love you.
Frens Are Liars.
Love Are Lies..
Lovers Are Liars Who Tell You Lies Like..
" I Love You "

the beauty exposed ;

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

To all of u who read this post..i think u all might think i'm emo..actually..i am..n i'm about to be drive crazy till i'll 1 day commit suicide..bliv me..is true..n to those who know me..i'm sry to make u all help me..to make my day happier from my emo-ness..but so sry..

this is my pain..

14th May..he broke up wit me..which is the time tat i loved him most deeply..but he wouldn't know..now i'm telling..when the laste bell rang..i hug my frens n cried out loud..i cry n cry n cry..till i even wet my pillow wit my own tears n slept..b4 i sleep..he told me.."eventhough we cant be lovers..we still can be frens"..i ignore tat msg n kept crying and i kept thinking bout tat 17th may will be 6th month wit him..but coz i cant get it of my mind..so i kept on crying..and i saw the tortuise he gave me as my bday present..when he gave it to me he said "if u're moody or sad..juz look at this tortuise.."..but..whenever i look at it..my tears will rapidly flow out..n it is uncontrolable..

15th May..i went school wit a hell of a moody mood..which i nvr eat b4 coming to school..my eyes is so dry..tat it really hurt..n sometimes my tears even flow down without me knowing..n i cant stop it..all i can do is hide it..it really do hurt..my heart was really tore apart..my fren..kept on take time n help me..n kept telling me he'll giv me a 2nd chance..but..all i think is "if i could get a 2nd chance..i will nvr do the same mistake..but..i bet he wont giv me a 2nd chance.."..and so on my tears flowed out agn..lil by lil..i hav a fren she told me.."if u had a 2nd chance..i think u would do better..n i will support u.."..i love her alot as a best fren (jie yinn)..she gav me lots of advice..on if i had 1more chance..but i dun think i will hav..i really love him alot..i really miss him alot..i really wan him badly back..becoz of him i cried almost once per hr in class n every second in the night..i tried to killed myself..but he did msn to me n told me not to do stupid stuff..but..i hav no choice anymore..if i cannot take it anymore..i might do it..coz..if i end my life..i wont be a burden to him no more..n he could love other gurls as he like..n not wrying bout me..and so..i decided to do it..if i could not do my best to be wit him again..after my tuition ..which is 10.30..he smsed me..n say "r u ok?these few day i saw u keep crying nia..try tok on9 ba"

16th may..(today)..i went to cc wit jean..n i saw him there..he nvr tok to me..we went summit wit joshua kai ning jean n him..he nvr tok to me still..then we walk to U6 padang..n they hav their tok..n i'm as lonely as ever staying in my own place..entertaining myself..n yet i do also cry la(of coz)..after tat my fren justin called him to hav a short tok wit me..bliv me is really short..he tok me.."wat u wan me to do..?"..i ans.."i dunno.."..i asked him back.."then wat wan from me??"he ans.."as long as u dun do stupid stuff can ad.."..then i say "even i do stupid stuff..also none of ur concern le.." he say " of coz it does..later got anything..they all blame me.." he continue "i gtg le..late ad..bb"..then i cry agn..this time..my tears flow rapidly..agn..i dun think i can hold much longer...i really is veli sad..moodless..and i know alot of his fren dun like me..n they will do anything to make me stay away from me..and i think jean is one of em..i can feel tat she hates me too..there is onli a few of frens i hav now..

now..even i write this post i also can cry..coz..i really do love him deeply..but i know n i can be sure tat 101% he wont accept me back ad..

i hope tat u broke up wit me is coz of other things..i hope it will not becoz of u dun wan hurt me no more onli break up wit me..now..tat u break up wit me..this is the greatest hurt tat i can ever receive from u..n i think u're the onli one tat can bandage my wound..

i'm sry tat i wasted lots of ur money or i blame u on anything or i hurt u n tok back to u..i'm so sry..i hope u will forgiv me n giv me a 2nd chance..i really love u..n i will remain tat way..i'll love u till the day tat my life ends..and..i'll carry this love to heaven/hell..i will change my attidute towards u..i'll correct all my mistake..i'm so sry..pls..come back to me..i beg of u..

time heals every wound..but a deep cut of wound might not heal in 1-2 days..it might take 1-2years to heal..maybe..it cant even heal..

the beauty exposed ;

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Relationship..:

~ Getting worse..
~ Dun Love Me As Much As Last Time
~ Stay Wit Jean More Then Me..
~ HAIH!!!

Frenship Wit Best.F..:

~ Getting Worse
~ She Nvr Bother To Tell Me Wats IS She Sobbing Of..(she used to do it last time)
~ I Feel Tat She Wans To Get ONLY Boys Attention instead of Gurls..(even my other fren thinks so)

~ Nvr Tok To Me Much
~ Occupying My Bf Like IS Hers
~ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

These Days My Life Is Getting More Lonely N Sad Each Day..My Life..Has Been Drain Away By My Sadness.."When Will My Life End?" I Thought And Answer to Myself.."Soon"
It Will Nvr Be The Same Again..

the beauty exposed ;